Why I'm Afraid of Success And YOU Might Be Too
mindset
mindset
Let’s talk about success.
Hi, my love, and welcome back to my blog! Today, I wanted to discuss a topic I don’t think is discussed nearly enough: fearing success.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Dheandra, why would anyone fear success?”
And honestly, I thought the same thing until I did some inner work and discovered that I had a major block: my fear of success.
Here’s the thing: we all have a different view of success, but success almost always means change—and if we’re honest, it usually means significant change. When I started to evaluate the root of my fear, I realized that I was afraid of success because, in my eyes, being successful meant that my whole life would be different than what it is now.
And, a part of me feared the necessary transformation that preceded success.
Although most changes born from success are usually positive, it’s still easy to feel fear. Some may fear losing connections with friends or being burdened with added responsibilities. However, it's crucial to recognize that success can also catalyze significant changes that enhance our lives, such as achieving financial independence or aligning with our passions.
After determining that I had a slight fear of success, I began addressing it because what’s the point of figuring out you have a problem if you don’t put a plan in place to fix it?
Here are a few things that I’ve learned:
I have to unlearn negative beliefs about success and replace those beliefs with positive ones.
This meant that whenever I’d picture myself succeeding, and I’d have a nervous, butterfly feeling of anxiety around the thought of success, this would signal to me that I needed to focus on a different frame of view. Instead of saying, “What if this bad thing happens?” I’d catch that thought and replace or follow it with, “What if this amazing thing were to happen instead?”.
Part of unlearning negative beliefs surrounding your view of success is learning to catch them as they appear. We’re so used to millions of thoughts flying around in our heads on a daily basis that we may not even catch these beliefs. They slip in so easily among our thoughts of what we’re having for dinner and what we’re working on at the gym that day that they become easy to miss if you’re not consciously seeking to root them out. However, when you make a point of becoming more conscious, you start to notice when you’re having those thoughts, and you can reframe them and regain your power.
Change is inevitable, and it is what you make it.
I still have to remind myself of this one daily. I personally love a good routine, but here’s the thing: to invite success, you must be open and ready for change. Success is one possible consequence of change. Only by learning to accept it as a natural flow in life can you hone in on how good things can get when things change.
Whenever I feel nervous or apprehensive about the thought of change, I remind myself that it’s happening, whether I like it or not. The key is to change my perception of it and control how I react to said change. Or, take the reigns by initiating the change itself — allowing myself to get ahead and drive the car versus being a passive passenger. I ask myself, “How can the changes happening benefit me?” or, even better, “How can I implement changes in my life that will lead to me getting the things I desire?”
The most important thing I’ve done on this journey is remind myself that I am worthy, and have always been worthy, of success.
Many of us fear success subconsciously because, deep down, we do not believe we are worthy of the very thing we crave. We believe that we are not working hard enough, talented enough, or built for the success we imagine.
I’m here to tell you that if you can see it in your mind’s eye, you can have and experience it. I believe that God (the universe, if you so please) has chosen for you to have that specific vision with those specific desires and goals. By default, you are worthy. If you choose to align yourself with it, this dream can come to manifest through your work and faith.
Here’s an exercise you can try: grab a notebook and write down all the things you have accomplished this year that you can remember. What you write down can be as small as ‘I started a YouTube channel’ (which isn’t that small, really) to ‘I moved out of my parent’s house’ or ‘I saved a certain amount of money.’
Write it all down.
Read the list back to yourself and think about how you felt before you had or did those things. You probably felt some level of fear or doubt surrounding those goals or desires.
But guess what? You manifested them! You put in the work, aligned your actions with your vision, and got what you wanted—or something better. It all worked in the end, and guess what—you deserved it—all of it!
Closing thoughts.
Success can be defined in many ways, but if you have a subconscious fear of success, you’ll sabotage your path to your goals.
I hope you all enjoyed this post and my three tips for helping you unburden yourself from your fear of success. Remember:
unlearn negative beliefs around success and replace those beliefs with positive ones.
Change is inevitable and it is what you make it.
you are worthy of success.
Alright, that’s all for today, my loves!
Leave me a comment and let me know if you have uncovered a subconscious fear of success and which tip will serve you best.
Until next time!
